![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_00.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQC6IruJ2GRiTCF_YbVPxw0iuIvC9hlmQqDcy36W_74L9Jo_Vh15pwgJ-kdb23dgQFUYehEwmD0LSGSJSke3c3yceW4OYV-sV_pox46MCUhjBPtTUZMk1Aj1Mg3P5YTOwNrPGkuV_gQoNy/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_00.jpg)
Here's Jessica Simpson performing in San Antonio last night, and who the hell is her choreographer? There's no nudity, so it can't be Joe Simpson.
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_03.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCQZw6wD-Hq7CFeJ5kxWceUqK-X9W284mivo6ae2-kZrH4r6dZyaM6iEONJeaA0d30IBVMLQ_4O029Z_r-m2SA24Q3v551r365zseIIEMUGeTCU7witkduC_yFtVlXoXZ_8E03BfxW_EZ/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_03.jpg)
But whoever it is, the only stage direction they seem to be giving is "Make sure you look 10-15 pounds heavier, and if you could flash a little gut, icing on the cake."
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_07.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF_zc5FoJARdVu3FNJh8bKv2foY9rnyDtcAAupL_desbzDT4DtXD-hjJEtDvQMChqavMqlMM24cZMUBw1qcOwALZ5ED-MflI04v1RXoN2Ce-SDPHweM6jyRYq66KnKxwo6fiQ4Ks5RfQnE/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_07.jpg)
Then again, that conversation could turn ugly once it's revealed the cake is metaphorical. If there's one thing Jessica Simpson hates, it's metaphorical food. And dieting.
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_06.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmk3viJO2ZnTyzMi7qZVuKm0q5Y1EZJHoqCKCp7EZvHEtyVTTIp2YBA27jf6yP5GeEfqpC50dStVk_0trlGrqkANYbsdVMoeTjMl_19AQiXmugsFoIlLEUlCDKtHeqUXgITcsIqsa_5mh/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_06.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_05.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdL1kfQdmcuyM4Ze0tX3Qh7T4cfZd-pGp8ZvSSN_GtnL9m0zjV2a-AUUYhEGp4zaV44_itodZvE5XRIlvCPHDRqjwKFBNdsDcT-2yhxv8ByWdISZyQtId09SuSL-i6_QZPIpT1Hld-CwKf/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_05.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_04.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD_P8wLXYDpFEbkc6QDCMqysHlygJAxGRk9Q8tf6_q37N14FfS5CLpkicvc3AJr-SvaVGp-uP_6-9zDJNINcM33lv8Kn859tPKve5ZC043N4ryi3OODFpQau-99MJBd0jAp3q_8FT6TFXp/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_04.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_02.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg71Bl_6vvjuokXfGnm6eGNjCCRxEqzGqgtL35jOcS7n0HmurAQaDG2FJkE4dABdaytqVwwOU1JVjsF7pLfJh4ap8Ido4xrh1UB2oFkj1R8VrX6pzBpM9rjfXZHl57eaezfyCuRmtcvGW9L/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_02.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_01.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpSZ5O-axgDeFMK_cUxeiMxFD1gYUy3GI06flG0S_-k-pqgDGnl6aDptPfEQGIg7Ij-AIZZW5EnwUpkPQ3n1QiONNhEP4vR9U0cMFb3Ez73N19gDyYVVZckQNJGbwtC-VWeDxig4wQVGHN/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_01.jpg)
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